Sunday, November 28, 2010

BREAKING IN A SUBMISSIVE SLUT

Max here with another blog update. A new slut I recently met wrote this little adventure. It is written by her in her own words it is the build up before our recent tryst.

I am sitting now thinking about the impending visit in a few days. I have some time to reflect over the past period of getting to know “Daddy”, I am going to now share a bit of the history…that has lead to this visit in just a few days.

As a member of a swinger’s site I have been able to meet quite a few people. Some still friends, and now some just a memory. As I peek at different profiles, there was one that stood out and dominated my thoughts, so I made contact. This particular one seemed to have some insight of my wants, cravings and an understanding of what my darkest needs were. My interest in swinging has been over the years since about 1989. Some fun has been had, but the intrigue of the “Dom/sub” life is certainly where my heart is. I have dabbled with this lifestyle but now know that I am a deeply submissive woman and proud to be so! There are certain words that warm my heart… “Slut”, “Fucktoy” that cause me to melt in warmth and knowing I am desired and cared for. Of course the intonation of the voice as these words are uttered re affirms that these words are said with thoughts of adoration. So as a relationship I was in seemed to “wobble”, and my heart a bit broken and I ached for someone to understand what I was dealing with. I was lead, as I stated a moment ago to this very attractive man, handsome and had a profile that sparked my interest. This profile dominated my thoughts and I then chose to send a note. Ahhh and there it began.

A few notes back and forth, then a phone call to hear the voice. Quite a few phone calls over a few months were exchanged. That calm even toned settling voice. The conversations were sometimes very generalized, sometimes with very intense sexual overtones, and also sometimes downright nasty. Sometimes we just talked over “stuff”. You might say that there was some solid ground between us, I felt like my relationship here at home was falling apart and I so needed someone to understand me, help me and guide me. “Daddy” did just that for that period of time. That period of time was quite awhile ago, but now just a month ago I find myself again with a bit of a broken heart and struggling, same man………….different year!

I reach out, again, and with great warmth “Daddy” is there for me. I told him what was going on, and how much I needed some control over me to “gather” myself. I do not do well when I do not have the control in my life. I need guidance, direction and strength in my life. I also need something that is very dark and it is something I understand I need but there are few men out there that truly know how to administer to full fill these needs. I also am very sexual and very yielding to the man who takes control over me. I love to please, I love hearing the words “Good Girl”. I am amazed that a man 1700 miles away can have power and control as I need over me THAT far away. I caught “Daddy” up on the life over the year…and where I was at now. “Daddy” said he could help me, again. This time…my pain was deeper so his guidance needed to be stronger over me. He knew this. He told me some guidelines…he likes to be addressed as “Daddy” and his term to me is “slut”. This was the start of some solid and controlled guidance over me, and it is with great appreciation to him as I say the words, “Hello Daddy” as I hear his voice on the phone. His response…”hello slut” in that soft deep soothing voice is so settling and is just what I need at this point in my life. So here I will take opportunity to say…”Thank you Daddy for your time, patience and moments of calm you provide to me”

Now let me give some insight to some content our conversations hold.

I am instructed that I must now ask for permission to pee, no matter where I am or what I am doing I must send a text to ask “Permission to Pee”? If he is busy, then I wait for his response. There have been times He has replied immediately, other times I must simply hold and wait. And then, there are other times though I am told “NO”. It is his choice and decision, if I hurt from the need to pee, it is a pain that he causes therefore his control over me, fine line between pain and pleasure…but the pleasure is incredible!

Another bit of instruction that I now must abide by is? When He calls me I need to be on my knees. As we talk, I remain upon my knees. You know what, He can tell if I am or am not. I again follow this direction with great appreciation of his guidance. At times we have had some lengthy conversations; my knees have been red upon the ending of our conversation.

I also sent a picture of my underwear to “Daddy”. He now chooses the color for me each morning or the eve before my workday. The bra and panties must match. I am missing the blue panties though; I was instructed to send him a pair that I had worn so he could have my scent. In turn, “Daddy” sent me a gift in the mail. I was having a very bad day, I needed something to feel, touch and hold of his. In turn a package containing

a strip of leather , it can fit my wrist on the tightest snap or my ankle on the loosest snap…the word “slave” in silver letters on black leather is a lovely reminder of “HIM”.

These are the steps of his guidance and control over me. Yes, he is 1700 miles away, but deep within me I know I MUST do as told, there is a very deep desire within me to please and he can tell by the tone of my voice, what I have done or have not done. “Daddy” also knows if I am sad…he can hear the quiver in my voice, he can also tell when the tears are ready to fall in sadness. I know there will come a day that he will see my tears, but those tears will be his, the pain he inflicts to cleanse me, creating those tears…thusly creating HIS tears. Along with all I have shared so far….there is one more piece of control over me…my dietary consumption. When I am sad…my intake of nourishment is minimal, basically I starve myself. “Daddy” has a menu from the place I eat most of my meals at, he chooses which category of foods I may eat from or he will give me a specific menu item I must have for that day. Not only does he want my head to be in a better place, he wants me to be healthy. When he visits he can not have me run down and sick, otherwise I will not be able to serve and provide the pleasure he needs of me. If I cannot eat the full meal then I know I need to try to get enough down to provide nourishment but not make me sick. So I follow his directions to a t.

An evening most recently I was so fucking horny. I had not been fucked in about 10 days. My inner being and my sexual craving seem to be rather high. At about day 3, I lose my mind. I get lightheaded and “ditzy”, I lose my train of thought easily. If I have a task at work, I may start it and then quickly lose my direction of what I am doing. YUP this is a horrible thing to happen, but I know myself very well, so I must reach out and find a way to solve this. I share with “Daddy” the state and the turmoil I was in. He states he would call me later he was busy at the moment.. He did though share with me the items I was to have on hand when he returned the call. I gathered the items he requested and then waited for his next call.

I had assembled an empty wine bottle, a safety pin and a candle. The candle was to be lit at a specific time, and then wait for THE call.

WOW

He called, and softly yet firmly asked if I was on my knees, answer being YES! All items close to me he then continued in his safe, constant tone over the miles, yet right next to me. The next 40 minutes of time were spent by me listening to his instructions. I was to lean and insert the bottle, slowly fucking a hungry cunt, grinding the bottle upon my clit, slowly inserting it into the now wet cunt. I hover, I feel the wetness, I feel the slow drip of cunt juice drip in anticipation. “Daddy” hears the deep breathing at a faster pace, heavy in lust for the desire of what I feel. Yes, a wine bottle! HIS command though it is tool upon me, HIS control over me, VERY solid complete control over me. At the point am almost at an orgasm by the penetration of this wine bottle, he firmly guides me to take the candle, pour the melted wax upon my nipple, the HEAT is PAINFUL and burns, oh what intensity though! Do you wonder where the safety pin fits into this scene? As I am post orgasm, and in this little dreamy moment, He tells me to take the pin and flick the now solidified wax off my nipple…….the pain of the pin, intensified from the most recent orgasm was, I cannot put the proper description here, and the words do NOT properly convey what I felt. It was VERY intense, IT HURT, it gave pleasure…it eased the pain of my heart, I NEEDED THIS and was so THANKFUL. “Daddy” knew what this “slut” desired and makes her cunt throb and her ass tighten. The previous run on sentence can only show the moment of the run on type of orgasm I felt. I came, held, hovered, and felt pain….how could this sensation be condensed to a single simple sentence. After this, I was instructed to lie down, rest, on the floor, enveloped in the down comforter I love. It was a safe, calming feel as I drifted off to sleep. I cannot thank “Daddy enough for understanding what this “slut” needs, desires and loves to complete the task given.

The pages are being filled with thought and actions of our interactions. I do not want to ramble too long. There is much to share. The interactions of the past guidance and the future meeting will be shared in full soon. I do though feel a bit here and there shared should only be just as that, a bit here and there. The conversations held have been here and there, not all at once. The anticipation is building, so this written reflection should be built a little at a time. SO MUCH to be shared but I will do it in little increments, treat you to the anticipation that I hold daily. The tease, the foreshadowing is what creates the intensity I feel. Upon the arrival of “Daddy” there will be SO MANY experiences I will share, a bit at a time, in time. I so look forward to this meeting, SOON!

No comments:

Post a Comment